To all of the awesome dads

I am proudly bragging about my awesome husband, this post is dedicated to him because he is an awesome dad!

During a discussion we were having last night, the topic of under and unappreciated dads came up.  And he is right.  There are many fathers out there being the full-time caregivers or are single parents.  And yet somehow the focus is always on the mother.

I get it, more often than not the women are the ones doing the child caring and rearing (with or without a partner), so the focus is typically on what more can be done to care for her needs.  But in these times of job flexibility, work from home scenarios, women having more earning power and blah blah blah, there are more men stepping up and taking on roles that have previously been considered “women’s’ work”.

Optimus falls into this category, well the work from home part.  I am employed outside of the home, so every day we split the responsibilities of getting the kids schedules down and into action.  He helps get them ready in the morning and out the door to school, and does pick up in the afternoons.  This means he’s usually the only dad collecting Tails from the playground at preschool and the only dad at the bus stop in the afternoon.  And while that happens, he’s pushing a stroller or wearing Rosie.  He does snack time, play time, diaper time, feeding time, nap time and any other time; all while running his own businesses.

Our family wouldn’t work without him as much as it wouldn’t work without me.  I am thankful for the flexibility his career allows us, and I am grateful that our children have the opportunity to really bond with their father.  It makes him a better person in all ways, and it makes me love and appreciate him more.

So say thanks and show a little love to the man (or men) in your life that add so much to it, let them know how much what they do means to you!

Parenting: not for the squeamish!

Disclaimer: Parenting is not for the faint of heart!

When my first beautiful child landed in my arms six years ago, I knew it was the beginning of a whole new ball game.  I had read the books, went to a breastfeeding course at the hospital, and gotten enough baby stuff to supply a small nursery school.  But, in spite of all of that preparedness, I was still blown away at how challenging parenting could be!

A new baby pits you against yourself; testing your ability to stay calm and focused through the crying, late nights, figuring your little one out, and learning to live with infrequent showers, eating while standing at the counter, and letting go of the tidy order your life once had.  You are introduced to the perpetual state of worry that you feel as a parent.  It starts out as worrying over making sure you’re caring for your baby in the right way, evolves into worrying about making sure your child is developing into a great kid, which gives way to making sure your kid is becoming a decent person as a teen, and finally the worry about releasing your now adult-ish young person into the world to fend for themselves.  Talk about scary!

But we parents do more than worry: we heal boo boos, dance silly dances to make our teary-eyed babies smile, stay up until three am to make sure holidays are perfect, create costumes out of bath towels and string, sew holes in favorite loveys, sing special songs, make paper airplanes, catch vomit, clean pee (and sometimes, poo!) off floors, jump on trampolines, tell elaborate stories at bedtime, cuddle with scared little ones that wake us up at two am, and so much more.

We give all of ourselves to our children, our families, and all without a guarantee that everything will turn out as we’ve dreamed of or hoped for.   When researchers or people attempt to monetize the work we do as parents (typically mothers), it trivializes the commitment to the work, because it comes from a place so much deeper.  We do all we do out of the infinite love to make sure our families are cared for and have the best we can give them.

I can only speak as mother, but I know that parenting has put me one the steepest learning curve than any formal education ever has.  Parenting is an experiment of trial by fire.  None of us are perfect, and all of us are doing the best we can do.  Parents unite!

Who needs Valentine’s Day- really?!

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching men and women (ok, mostly men) are scrambling around trying to find the perfect gift for a loved one.  Or, if you’re a big douche you’re trying to find a way to get rid of your partner to avoid the cost of the holiday (you are  MAJOR loser if this is you).

For the vast majority of women, this is an important holiday.  It validates or reaffirms a relationship, plants the seeds of new love, or takes a relationship to new levels.  All of this means that for men it is a week plus of finding the right gift, worrying that the gift will not be good enough and making sure that reservations to some fancy, ambient-lighted restaurant are perfect.  And yes, all with the hope that a night of rowdy sex will follow the pomp and circumstance.

But for me, Valentine’s Day is just another day.  I do not care one way or the other about it.  And I really mean it!  Optimus and I have been together for almost thirteen years, and we have reached a point where making a big deal about such a day, that occurs so close to the end of the holiday season seems mad.  Besides, we have children to raise, diapers to change, late night feedings to get on with, and homework isn’t going anywhere!

We have come to the point where Valentine’s Day seems to be more of an opportunity for couples to get and give the presents they were not gifted at Christmas.  And so we pass each other with a quick kiss and a happy valentine’s day and get on with our days.

So I must know, is Valentine’s Day really that important?  If your partner were to forget, would he/she be in trouble?